Poem: Conundrum

I have had several nights where so many things have been running through my mind when laying in bed, trying to sleep. The following is a poem that I have been trying to piece together in the wee hours.

I must live my life alone, even when I feel so lonely
Within my shell, I feel comfortable yet empty

My mood swings through extremes:
Happy and sad, angry and solemn, open and closed

I say so much, but cannot find the right way to say it
Words at the ready, yet afraid of what may come out

Yearning for companionship, but must be alone
Better to let myself down than to let others down

I can respect you, yet none for myself
There will always be someone better for you than me

I must live my life without that someone special
Even if it eats at me from the inside

Clarification: the above reflects some of the moods that my dreams have been about, not an exact tale of day-to-day life. Then again, dreams can be a foggy representation of what the mind is going through.